Moving in the Right Direction

Yahoo...weighed in at weight watchers and the scale is still moving downward. My exercising is actually beginning to become a habit and I miss it if for whatever reason I don't do it.

My food choices have been better than I have ever seen. I tried whole wheat pasta for the first time this week and would say that it was pretty good. I am eating 5-7 servings of fruit and veggies daily (sometimes they are added to my smoothies or simply juiced) and have even quit smoking through all of this. My quiting smoking had more to do with my father's death. All in all I think that has a lot to do with my need to be healthier.

Breaking Bad.

I haven't posted recently and I have to remember that this blog is one of the things that is keeping me accountable.

I have been exercising every single day for the last two weeks, with the exception of one day, which was a self-imposed break (read: too lazy, and I wound up feeling really guilty about it,)

One of the things Kathy mentioned in an earlier entry was that when you exercise, it speeds up the metabolism, and makes you feel hungrier. No doubt! For the last week, all I have wanted to do was eat. Pretty sure that it is also hormonal, but at any rate, I feel like it is sabotaging some of my exercise efforts, and I would be losing a bit more weight if I could just exercise a bit of self- control.

I have also been weighing in every day, and I am putting a stop to that. I feel like the daily fluctuations in my weight, due to water, or whatever, are not doing me any favors to see. To some extent I feel like the numbers can be discouraging--especially in relation to how hard I feel like I am working.

Motivation is Back

I think joining Weight Watcher to help with my support system has been the way to go. I lost only 1 lb this week, but am dealing with massive bloating so 1 lb is good.

I've come up with a great way to be sure to get at a minimum of 30 minutes in on my Treadmill, in addition to Yoga, Free Weights and Pilates.

I love Wii Bowling and my 6 year old says I am never willing to play video games with him. So, now I do. I can complete a 30 minute i-Fit workout on the treadmill while competing against him with one game of bowling, one game of "Picking up Spares", one game of "Power Throws" and one game "Spin Control".

I still am completing my morning Yoga and Meditation, 3 - 5 days, which is a huge help.

Next week's weight loss is going to be AWESOME!!!

Beat Me Down if...

a. I sound waaaayyyyy too happy and positive even after your morning coffee
b. you've heard all this advice before and you're sick of it
c. I'm being too preachy
d. all of the above

I'm just really excited about what everyone is doing to adopt a healthier way of living. I also get a feeling that food is viewed as "the enemy" in some ways and I want to present a different perspective that's worked for me.

Ups and Downs

On the up side, there is so much to celebrate these days, lots of birthdays, end of successful school year, graduations and weddings of dear friends. Only down side, every celebration involves food (mmmmm bread, cheese, dessert!) and staying out late. So I've been eating too much and then being too tired and sluggish to do an enthusiastic workout the next day.

This weekend, I'm going to 3 parties. I don't like the idea of forbidden foods; my favorite things that are the ones that are "bad for me!" I just have to remember that the first few bites are always the best so just stop there. My hope is by typing this out and sending it into the universe, I'll be more aware of what I'm choosing to eat and more purposeful about my weekend workouts.

Happy Friday!!

Losing My Motivation

I was doing so well the first 4 days of my diet and the last three just sucked. I didn't eat well, exercise or for that matter give a crap. What's worse, is I was very aware of it. It all started when my husband returned from his business trip in Austin. I was so worried about him that I simply forgot about myself. That is ridiculous too as he will eat whatever I make. I believe I just made some poor choices.

On a positive note I lost 2 lbs. but really what is 2 lbs? Water.

Back on track this week with a goal of moving daily for at least 1 hour as well Yoga in the morning and two liters of water,

Considering going to either Weight Watchers or going on Duvita. I am going to a Duvita meeting this evening with an open mind.

Finally since it looks like I tend to lose my motivation after 4 days, I am going to blog every third day to keep me accountable.

Will let y'all know my progress in the next few days

Slow but Steady

My friend joined me today in my daily walking of the dawgies. It's really true about that proverb: A mile walk with a friend is only a hundred steps. We ended up walking about two miles, which was peachy by me since I went to the chiropractor this morning and I was in no mood to throw my alignment out.

We also stopped to do some stomach crunches, pushups, and tricep dips on some benches... wow I'm weak. Squeaked out two sets of ten reps on each exercise with lots of shaking and straining towards the end. Sigh.

We got back and I made us organic blueberry, strawberry, raw chocolate, peanut butter smoothies for lunch. I used yogurt and soy milk and also added some "green powder" made from leafy green vegetables. Couldn't even taste it in my mix. The peanut butter might make you cringe but it's a decent source of protein with the yogurt, plus it helps me feel fuller longer.

I don't consistently eat as well as I should. Of course I have to eat what my toddler son doesn't finish, right? So I topped off that wonderful smoothie with some leftover toast and mozzarella. Funny how kids can help wreak havoc on a mother's body even after they're born.

Monday morning ramblings.

One week weigh in today, I lost 4.5 pounds. I'm happy with the results, and the scale is headed in the right direction, but I have to say I am a little disappointed in the number.

They say the older you get, the harder it is to lose, bollocks! I don't want to beat myself up about this, all in all it was a GREAT week; I was able to begin to get control of my horrific eating habits, and I exercised every day.

Does anyone keep a daily food journal? Your thoughts on it?

Four Days.

It has been four days since I began what I hope to be the reinvention of my overall health, and things feel like they are moving along at a fairly smooth pace. I always feel like when I let people (read: family) in on my plans for a new me (the dozens of times I have decided to lose weight) it winds up being the direct route to instant sabotage, and I am not sure why that happens. I have failed at this so many times that it will take time for me to strip away the layers, have that epiphany I have been waiting for, and to understand why I am not succeeding.

I have to say that this blog has created an instant form of accountability and honesty for me that I’m pretty sure I haven’t delved into prior to now; It has created a vehicle for me that drives me away from the pain, and the numbness, caused by my self-image. I feel like I can be truthful and frank about what I am going through and not be judged, and I love that you all, based on what I am reading feel the same way.

I want to be better than I never was

I think I posted that on my FB status once and Dani commented, "I can relate." I think we can all relate on one level or another. My self image struggle had more to do with my Japanese-American 98-lb-weakling nerdiness than anything else. I was picked last on kickball teams, I won the "Skinniest" title at summer camps, and I was once told by a school nurse, "You can eat more rice." I wanted to have beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair like my Barbie dolls. (Thank God there are Barbies of different ethnicities now!)

It wasn't until high school that I discovered that I could be a halfway decent athlete in aerobics and tennis, and I found "solace" in running when I was about nineteen. It was a great way to focus on self improvement without worrying about other team members, get some endorphins going, and I finally gained muscle mass.

Two kids later, I am frustrated with lack of time and sleep, sagging and bagging regardless of how much sunscreen I use, back problems, creeping weight gain that starts the second I decide not to exercise for the day, and not finding Victoria's Secret bras that fit... no amount of exercise could build up my chest, HA!

But, I am grateful beyond belief for my family and friends. I love FB and the support system we're able to establish with each other. I'm still pretty darn healthy considering I had a breast cancer scare (the lump was benign) and I had painful fibroids during my last pregnancy. I've also learned how to cook healthier vegetarian dishes since my husband and stepson are vegetarians.

I am excited about this blog. We can confess to eating poorly, we can kvetch about getting up at o'-dark-thirty, it's okay to let it all hang out. This is my goal, to be more consistent in my exercise regimen and eating habits, develop upper body strength, that this blog will help me be "better than I never was."

I want to be a success story!

Greetings all!

I guess my roller coaster weight story starts out simply enough... I always wanted to be skinny like my sister. Course now I look back at my little girl pictures and want to shout at her "You look fine!!" But I never felt fine. The fact that eating disorders run rampant in my family coupled with my natural aversion to healthy foods has added up to a lifetime of feeling bad about my body.

About a year and a half ago, I had a major health scare. Almost as scary as hearing "you could have died" was seeing the big number on the scale... I weigh HOW much? So I answered the wake up call and made the simplest goal I could: Just be healthier.

I already knew that I can't diet - I instantly feel deprived and make myself crazy. So I knew my new plan had to be something I could do forever. I didn't set any number or size goals, just decided to try to eat less and move more. Every day. So portion control became my friend. "Just eat one bite" worked sometimes and I set my alarm for the ungodly time of 4:45am so that I could do some kind of exercise for an hour a day.

I didn't weigh myself until the year anniversary of my hospitalization and was happy to see that I was 32 pounds lighter.

And that's where I want my story to end. My smaller body and I lived happily ever after but...

My attitude towards food hasn't changed at all. When my husband and I argue, I want to chomp angrily on chips until I feel better. When my son turned 13 last week, I kept the celebration going by having cake for dinner 3 nights in a row (because isn't it ok if that's all you eat?). It's hard not see these days as total failures and I'm noticing that it's easier and easier to let one bad day roll into another. And worse, I've rediscovered the snooze button so even though my alarm goes off at 4:45, sometimes I don't get up until 6!

I weighed myself yesterday and I've gained 4 pounds since October... maybe not so horrible but then my lovely son figured out that at that rate it will only take a little over 5 years to gain back all I lost.

So this morning, I was back on the elliptical for 15 minutes and did a light kettlebell workout. So here's to staying motivated and on track. We can all do it!!

Bumpity bump...

Funny thing happened today while I was writing a really elaborate comment to your comments, my internet connection decided to poop out and all my writing was lost. I hate when that happens.

Shelley: up until yesterday I would start my morning out by eating and not stop eating until I went to bed in the evening, and then on top of that I would wake up and eat more. Aye, aye, aye.

So far, I have renegged on the weekly weighing, and have done it daily, and so the obsession begins.I didn't start out obsessed, it was more like dragging my feet. Shelley, I can totally relate to what you are talking about in terms of obsessing, i'm not a stranger to that.

i haven't settled on a specific menu or calorie count, yet. I'm keeping it abot 1800 calories a day, which has GOT to be far less than I was taking in before....What about length of exercise sessions? What is a good amount of time?

I can officially say that I am too scared to take a picture of myself in my underwear :-) I will probably wind up doing it, but holy jeezus...

and Kathy, I am going to look up the calorie count of Little Cesars pizza...we do the EXACT same thing!

I hit a bit of a snag of sorts today, I wanted to eat the stress away, but I didn't. Small victories.

Here's to another excellent, in control day, tomorrow, i KNOW WE CAN ALL DO IT.

Weight Loss Goal Set

Weighed in today. Relooking at what my goal weight is and I want to loose 51 lbs.
Ate well today but no exercise. Plan on exercising tomorrow.
6:30 am Yoga
4:30 pm Pilates (haven't done pilates in years)

New to this

Okay, I am not sure if I have this posted correctly because I'm not too sure how to do this blog. I sort of figured out FB on my own so, I figure I can do this as well.

Wow, I feel completely vulnerable.

Again.

I hate how my life has been comprised of these stops and starts of diet and exercise. I know how to do it, that is, eat properly and exercise; I just can't maintain the momentum, and it sucks.
I need it to be different this time--I need the light at the end of the tunnel to stay lit; I need to care about the condition that I am in, and the condition I want to be in. I have to channel my emotions into something other then food, and that may be the hardest part. I've spent the better part of 40 years medicating with food. Time to stop.

The bottom line is-- being fat sucks, and I don't want to be that anymore.