I want to be better than I never was

I think I posted that on my FB status once and Dani commented, "I can relate." I think we can all relate on one level or another. My self image struggle had more to do with my Japanese-American 98-lb-weakling nerdiness than anything else. I was picked last on kickball teams, I won the "Skinniest" title at summer camps, and I was once told by a school nurse, "You can eat more rice." I wanted to have beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair like my Barbie dolls. (Thank God there are Barbies of different ethnicities now!)

It wasn't until high school that I discovered that I could be a halfway decent athlete in aerobics and tennis, and I found "solace" in running when I was about nineteen. It was a great way to focus on self improvement without worrying about other team members, get some endorphins going, and I finally gained muscle mass.

Two kids later, I am frustrated with lack of time and sleep, sagging and bagging regardless of how much sunscreen I use, back problems, creeping weight gain that starts the second I decide not to exercise for the day, and not finding Victoria's Secret bras that fit... no amount of exercise could build up my chest, HA!

But, I am grateful beyond belief for my family and friends. I love FB and the support system we're able to establish with each other. I'm still pretty darn healthy considering I had a breast cancer scare (the lump was benign) and I had painful fibroids during my last pregnancy. I've also learned how to cook healthier vegetarian dishes since my husband and stepson are vegetarians.

I am excited about this blog. We can confess to eating poorly, we can kvetch about getting up at o'-dark-thirty, it's okay to let it all hang out. This is my goal, to be more consistent in my exercise regimen and eating habits, develop upper body strength, that this blog will help me be "better than I never was."